What does it mean to be weary? According to Dictionary.com it means to be physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc.; or to be fatigued or tired. To me being weary is a bone deep, soul crippling exhaustion of my essence that starts the moment I wake up and that fills me as I drift off to sleep in the wee hours of the morning.
I know that I am a weary woman most days. If we are being honest, I hate that I feel this way. I hate that it I feel less than and imperfect in my make-up to not be able to handle what life throws at me; that I am so exhausted by it I’d rather numb myself out playing a stupid game app on my phone, avoid paying my bills, or eat half the bag of Tim’s Cascade chips because it feels better than accepting my weariness.
When you are weary, you start to question your life, your responsibilities, and your choices. Should I have gone to graduate school? Do I need to work full time? Should I have taken that promotion? Do the kids need to be enrolled in 27 after school activities? How are we going to pay for the new fence? Should we have started our son on that new ADD medicine? How are we going to deal with my aging mother in law? Can we really take on another church responsibility? How can help my husband achieve his dreams when there is no time?
While reading my Bible this week, I was struck with the notion that God is sovereign in my weariness, planning for it, and utilizing it to draw me to Him. The perfect example of His glory and strength revealed through my weakness.
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV
I am blessed with a God who NEVER grows weary, who commands me to cast my burdens on Him so that He may be glorified in His strength and mercies. “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 HCSB).
When am I going to learn that I cannot go it alone? When am I going to learn that I cannot do this with my own ability, that my Lord has designed me to need Him? To be cared for and satisfied in a way that only He can do? I loathe my weariness only to realize it is what brings me to Him repeatedly. He is going to give me strength so that I can run and not grow weary (look at Isaiah above).
And people, we are running a race. Don’t forget that. Hebrews 12:1-3 states:
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Fix our eyes on Jesus! My sisters in Christ, bring your weariness to Him. Lay it down at His feet, lift that soul deep ache to Him, pray and let His mercies and comfort surround you. I say this as much to myself as I do to you. My prayer this week is that we acknowledge our weakness, our weariness, our need for Him. That we let Him strengthen us and not our own sheer willpower and self-pep talks. Sigh into Him. You know that sigh – the one that rushes through your whole body and your shoulders sag with relief. Though I am weary, He is not. Though I am weak, He is not. Though I am exhausted, He is not. Amen to that.
The Weary Quill 